A window inside life at Augustana College

It’s not Heaven, It’s Iowa

A few Saturdays ago I had the great fortune of visiting the University of Iowa to watch a dual meet between Iowa and Iowa State. Our wrestling team received decently priced tickets courtesy of coach Juergens, allowing us a chance to witness a pretty sweet event.

Legend according to Morgan Freeman, is that this man choked a lion as a baby for reading “Where the Wild Things Are” wrong to him and became the King of the Jungle.

We started our journey in a van to the faraway land of “Iowa”, which is famous for having corn fields built by Kevin Costner where ghosts play baseball  and wrestling. On the way I subjected them to a heavy dose of DJ Gary Miller, consisting of songs of a deplorable nature. When the crew arrived on the campus there was the obvious duty of feeding the funky bunch of men known as Augustana wrestlers. coach took us to a Mexican restaurant that I would call in my dreams the “Antonio Banderas”.  It was no Casa Bonita as I was accustomed to living in Denver, alas, the food was way better but there were no cliff divers to entertain me and my imaginary friends Connor Cummings, Alex Bowers, and David Tessiatore.

After the fine feast of nachos and soccer it was high tide for us to venture to the Carver-Hawkeye arena. A great distance was traversed, making the group of short men including myself feel like Hobbits out to destroy Sauron’s Ring of Power. That was probably just me, I digress. After playing the real life version of Frogger and encountering no casualties the team of happy misfits followed the yellow brick road and made it to the land of Oz.

The first thought I had as I strolled in was, “Holy Tim Tebow’s Virginity, this place is ginormous!”

Yes, I was that shocked


We got to our seats and waited for the entertainment to begin. Being in that arena felt almost surreal to me, it was like being at  Yankee or Notre Dame stadium, even Madison Square Garden. The history of the arena and the grueling work it took to make that place hallowed ground made me really appreciate the moment. It was something I could tell my family about when I have kids and hopefully share one day with them. The Hawkeyes won the meet decisively 32-3 but it was a joy to watch. One of my favorite things to do was to watch Iowa head coach Tom Brands. He was more animated than the cartoons I watch everyday.

A stare that would make Chuck Norris cry his cancer curing tears.


It was an awesome experience and I’m thankful I got the opportunity.


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